Aside from my husband and my parents (who have been AMAZING), my best friend L has been a life saver in the last 7 months. She has listened to me talk out emotions, held me when I needed to cry, and has just been there for me. I know I can say exactly how I am feeling to her without the fear of being judged. I have had some pretty dark days and thoughts since February, and she has been by my side. She is expecting her second baby girl in December. I think we were both afraid it would affect our friendship. But, it hasn't. She is the one friend who hasn't shyed away from me, and she doesn't walk on eggshells around me. She released pink balloons in honor of my girls when she did her gender reveal photo. A time when I should have been furthest from her mind, she still thought of me. I don't know if she will ever know how thankful I am for her friendship.
Yesterday is the day I was due with Gentry and Savannah last year, July 18. I don't think I will forever get that date. Yesterday wasn't too bad, but this week has been tough. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard. Of course it doesn't help that there a lot of triggers surrounding me. Earlier this week I was walking through the office where two co-workers and an employee from another site were talking. The other employee, C, is expecting twin girls. The babies' dad isn't really in the picture, and C herself jokes about having someone else takes the babies and she'll visit on weekends. I know that she is only joking, but hearing that is like a punch to the gut. So anyway, I was walking down the hall this week I heard her mentioning that she needs to work on the girls' nursery. I ducked my head & walked to my office where I lost it. I mean sitting there sobbing lost it. That hasn't happened at work in a LONG time. Thank goodness I have my own off...
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