Down That Forever Road

I think all of my last blog posts have been so far apart, that it is safe to say I am the worst blogger ever. So much, yet so little, has changed in my life this year. I have documented my mom's battle with dementia and Alzheimer's on here over the years, and I so sad to say that 3 months ago my mom passed away. Ultimately it was a blood clot that caused her death, but I don't think it would have been much longer without the clot. She had become so ill that she had lost control of her bladder and bowels, that I was often on call to go to their house and help clean her up. It was awful to see her in that shape and being unable to communicate. I truly have a peace knowing that is no longer suffering, but I am still sad for me. This week is especially hard for me with Thanksgiving and my birthday.  Two big family centered events that I now have to face without my mom. Even though Mom hasn't been her self for years, the gaping hole in my heart and the empty chair at the

It has been so long since my last post! Crazy how time flies by. We have now been a waiting family for 7 months. Some days it feels like so much longer. At the 6 month mark we heard from our agency with an update on how many views our profile has had by birth mothers. We have been shown to 59 moms - almost 10 a month. My first thought was "great, so many opportunities." But the more I thought about it, I began to wonder why 59 moms didn't think we were worthy or a good fit for her baby. I know I am over thinking it, but waiting can make you do that. The good news is that the agency has a 75% placement rate between 3 and 12 months of activation. Only 20% take place between years 1 and 2. And the extremes are less than 3 months and more than 2 years. With those statistics it makes you think it could be soon. We are continuing on with preparation for a baby. We now have a changing table, dresser, crib, crib mattress, mattress protector, bottles, diapers, diaper bag, hang