Down That Forever Road

I can't believe I forgot to post a picture of the girls' Easter bunny and the butterflies. I also made an Easter bouquet of silk flowers I will be taking to them this weekend.  I am also in the process of getting some photos together to make a scrapbook for the girls. Looking through the photos on my phone brought on a lot of emotions. All of which led to tears. It makes me so sad to see myself so happy; I long to feel that way again. Right now I feel as though I am faking my way through the day. I may seem ok on the outside, but inside I am a mess. Yet I continue on pretending to be ok most of the time because life must go on. Anyway, here are some of my favorite photos I have found.  The girls' Easter bunny. This was the day we found out we were having twins. We went downtown for a U of M basketball game. When we came out, it was snowing. This was also the day before my birthday. This is my sweet Bailey sleeping on my legs, keeping me company while I was on b

It is hard to believe that it has already been a month since we said hello and goodbye to Gentry and a few hours shy of a month since doing the same with Savannah. I miss our sweet girls so much. I look at their photos at least once a day. They were such beautiful girls, so I know they are beautiful angels. We went to visit their gravesite today, as we have each Sunday since. We took out an Easter bunny and two butterflies to place around their temporary marker. Today we just sat in the grass next to their resting place and cried. I thought of all the things I would have been doing had this not happened - decorating their nursery, buying lots of pink outfits, taking maternity pictures. All of the fun parts of pregnancy and planning for a baby. I am so very thankful for the 5 months I had them, but I wish I had more time. My prayer is that they know how much I loved and will always love them. Last week was my first week back at work. I cried at least once each day. It was so hard to g

Some of you who are friends with me on Facebook may be confused about our two girls. We were originally told Baby A was a boy, but once we got home from the hospital we received a call that Baby A was actually a girl too. I guess they had to get her all cleaned up to tell. Funny how all along I just knew we were having two girls, mother's intuition I suppose. It took us a few days to name the babies. We wanted names that had a lot of meaning to us. When we selected their names, we were still under the impression Baby A was a boy. Luckily we had selected a gender neutral name, Gentry. This is a name we have talked about for years, as the first time we truly "hung out" was at Montgomery Gentry concert (in 2005). It only seemed appropriate that we name the first baby after something that was the beginning of our relationship. Baby B's name, Savannah, comes from Savannah, GA being the last place we vacationed before our IVF cycle. That trip was full of so much joy and ho

On Saturday, February 25th I started having terrible pains in my hips & lower abdomen, but I just chalked it up to growing pains and went on to work. We were having an autograph signing at one of our stores, so it was a busy day. As the day went on, the pain only got worse, almost crippling. I asked to leave work and called my husband. Upon hearing how much pain I was in, he immediately left work and called my parents. I stopped at my parents house because they only live 2 minutes from the store I was working at. My parents weren't there at the time, but they came home to check on me. My dad immediately called 911, just as I had a gush of blood. I knew something wasn't right, this was different from any bleeding I had ever experienced with the subchorionic. I just knew I was losing my babies. Thankfully the fire station is only 5 blocks from my parents' house, so the ambulance arrived quickly. They immediately loaded me up an took me to the hospital. The hospital hook