Friday, May 17, 2013

Friday Fun

It seems as though all of latest posts have been "negative Nancy", so I thought I would post about some of the fun stuff I have been up to, mostly pictures.

Before we started the last FET, we took a vacation to Orlando and Key West. Key West is the most beautiful place I have even been, and I am ready to go back! In Orlando, we saw our U of M Tiger basketball team play UCF, saw our Memphis Grizzlies (NBA) play the Orlando magic, took in some Braves Spring Training, and went to the Plant City Strawberry Festival where we got to meet Dwight Yoakam. You can imagine after all of that I was ready for some relaxation in Key West. It was pretty chilly there this year, so we didn't get to swim or layout, but it was still beautiful.
Key West Sunset from our Hotel Pier
Braves Spring Training

Me & Dwight Yoakam

Key West Southernmost Point

On a Boat in Key West

View from our Hotel Balcony

Marty & Dwight Yoakam

Strawberry Shortcake at Strawberry Festival

Chocolate Dipped Key Lime Pie

Disney Fun

We also went to see the Atlanta Braves play one of their minor league teams. It's not everyday that a Major League teams plays in Mississippi. So, we took the weekend for a little getaway. Marty got to catch up with an old friend he hasn't seen in years, and we got some good time together.

Now, our Memphis Grizzlies are in the NBA Playoffs. We went to one of the games last round against OKC. It was so much fun. The arena is a totally different place when the Playoffs are in town! Here we are with our "Growl Towels".

Surprisingly, Mother's Day was a good day. The weekend was hard, but the actual day was good. We went to church, went to lunch with my parents and an aunt, went to visit my Great Aunt and Great Uncle, went to visit our babies at the cemetery, and then went to dinner with Marty's parents. It was a busy day filled with a lot of love.
Mother's Day roses from my parents, bouquet from my parents, Carnation from S&G's  Cemetery

Me & Babies

At the Cemetery

Monday, May 13, 2013

Frustration

My doctor finally called me on Friday afternoon. I think I would have rather him not call at that point. By the end of the call I was beyond frustrated. I am not even exaggerating when I say the call started off with 2 minutes of silence. Then he started the conversation by saying I know we have talked about transferring two before, but decided against it. Why don't you talk to your husband and see what he says. I told him that we were supposed to transfer two this time, but one didn't survive thawing. His response? "Oh, then I guess I decided not to thaw another." What do you mean you guess? You should have just said something like "oh yeah" then continued on.
That was pretty much all he wanted to say, so I started asking questions like what would he suggest we do differently, change medication, change dosage, anything? His first response was "The only thing I would do would be to thaw them the morning of instead of the night before." I had to continue probing. I asked if the low progesterone would be anything to address in future cycles. He said "Well, your progesterone was 31 the day of the pregnancy test. That is plenty high to support a pregnancy." So I told him that was probably because I increased progesterone after the transfer per instructions after getting labs back. He said, "Well, we didn't increase it after the transfer." I then had to remind him that it was not increased until the day of the transfer. We battled back and forth about this until he finally saw it on the chart. So then he suggested we start with the higher dose of progesterone before the transfer next time. I wanted to say, "duh!", but refrained. With my fresh cycle I was over double the dose I was on with these two frozen. I know that it it common to be on more with a fresh cycle because of all of the other medications, but you would think that seeing as progesterone with low with first FET and my history of low progesterone you would have adjusted that this time around. Not to say that would have made the difference, but it couldn't hurt to try it.
So, again he tried to get off the call and told me he wanted to schedule an appointment for the next month so that we could further discuss and give Marty a chance to ask questions. I told him at this time we are done with IVF, but would consider talking to him in July (knowing we have the appointment in Atlanta next month). I think this ticked him off even more than my prodding. He said, "Well, then I will let you make your own appointment. That is disappointing to here." I told him it was just an emotional roller coaster and financially I can't keep doing this over and over with no change in protocol.
And, that was pretty much  the end of the call. The fact that he just seemed so unaware of my protocol, history, and original discussions to transfer two annoyed me. Not to say I won't go back. If the doctor in Atlanta doesn't have any different game plan then I would just go back to my doctor here and not worry with the shipping of embryos and all. Of course at this point, Atlanta may not be realistic anyway with travel and my work schedule, plus travel expenses, and cost of their FETs. Hopefully though next month I will feel less frustrated and feel like we are going in the right direction.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Change in Direction

On Friday, after we got the results I was was CRUSHED. I swore up and down all weekend that I was DONE with IVF. I NEVER wanted to see another PIO needle or estrogen patch. I was ready to look at adoption or trying to find a gestational carrier. It was time to change directions on this path to parenthood.

And, now here I am with an appointment in June with another RE. Technically still a change in direction, just not as drastic. After talking to two of my bosses who have gone through IVF with their wives several times, they gave me a little of my determination back. Both of them were patients here with my same doctor. Both had several failed cycles here, along with terrible "customer service" experiences. I have only had a few run ins on that side of things, one that is going on now. Both of these couples then went to RBA in Atlanta, and both had successes. Another co-worker also went there and had two successful cycles. So now, we will be headed to Atlanta for a consultation next month. If we like what they have to say regarding protocol changes or other suggestions, we would be able to ship our 3 remaining embryos there to do a transfer.

They may tell me that the FET protocols I have been on are fine, and they wouldn't change a thing. In that case, we will probably will be done with IVF (at least for awhile). If they change things up, or offer me a glimmer of hope, we will forge on. I do have to say that the doctor's assistant who called me to set up the appointment was amazing. So sweet, understanding, and encouraging.

As it stands with my doctor here, I am still waiting on my follow up call to this transfer. He was supposed to call on Monday, but here it is lunch time Wednesday without a call. I honestly believe that he just doesn't know what he would say to me at this point, so he is avoiding me. Or so it seems.

So, yeah, big things ahead for us. I am somehow allowing myself to get a little excited. Oh, and we do still have an adoption information package on the way. =)

Friday, May 3, 2013

Big Fat Negative

I had my beta today, another big fat negative. "Charlie Brown" didn't stick around. I found this Charlie Brown quote today, and that pretty much summarizes how I am feeling today.