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Showing posts from January, 2013

"Memory Button Stuck on Repeat"

"I sure felt it when ya left Memory button stuck on repeat Mind skippin’ like a record machine Over and over that goodbye scene Keeps spinnin’ in my head"  - Eric Church
These lyrics pretty much sum up how it has been lately for me. The closer it gets to the one year mark of losing Gentry & Savannah, the more I think about that day. My mind replays every moment of that day over and over, and the days in the week following. I can remember what was said, what I thought, the smells, the sounds, the feelings. It just won't stop. I don't know if it ever will. Some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, some days my test gets so tight I can't breathe, some days I just sob, some days I am too numb to react.
Christmas Day was the 10 month anniversary of the girls being born. All I could think about was how we should have our two daughters here with us. Last Christmas we thought we would. I remember that year when I left work before Christmas I told them, "I…