Skip to main content

Capture Your Grief: Days 9 & 10

Day 9:Special Place, a place that gives you peace

Of course one special place is the girls' place at the cemetery. When I go there, I like to just be quiet and still. I like to feel the way the sun warms my skin, or the way the wind brushes against me.There is something so serene about being there.

Relating to that, another special place is anywhere outside under a beautiful sky. I find myself looking to the sky a lot more in the last 7 months. It makes me feel closest to my girls. To quote Train, "When I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me, and you make everything alright."
This is a shot I got while waiting in line at the gas station.
My bed is another special place. It is here where I have cried most of my tears, alone and with Marty. It is where I have said the most prayers. It is where I can escape in my dreams.

Day 10: Symbol

Owls are the things that remind me of my girls. I had been looking at owl things for their nursery. I first used the owl on their "birth announcement". It really isn't an announcement, but I created them for their scrapbook. 

In the months that followed, I have collected a few more owls. Okay, maybe more than a few. 
The two owls sit on my desk at work next to my computer monitor.
The one on the right was colored by my best friend's four year old.

This art is on a wall in office at work.

These are my owls from Owl Love You Forever.

These owl earrings (and the pink ones) were given to me by my best friend
and boss on the 2 month anniversary of the girls.

I think this little owl is from Target.

If you look in the upper left of this picture, you can see two owls that sit
on our mantle.

This owl necklace was a gift from a friend.
The two little owls sit with the plaque my mother in law
gave me in memory of the girls.


  1. Isn't it crazy how a beautiful sky means so much more than it used to? I Love all the owls! :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Baby Sully

Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in.

That day, November 14,  I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day.

I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need to g…

Finalization Day

Finalization day was so special for us, so we invited along one of my dearest friends who is also a photographer to capture the day. This friend has been there for us every step of the way, not only as a friend but also capturing our special moments.

When the judge announced that he granted the adoption and name change to be officially Benton, I about lost it. That is until Benton let out the cutest squeal of excitement. I think he was excited it was official as well! 
These pictures were too cute not to share. So, here are a few from finalization day!


Well guys, 8 weeks we were matched this time. But now we are back to being a waiting family. I honestly don't know where to start with this one. The last few days have been a whirlwind.

On Tuesday (5 days ago) the birth mom texted that she was having contractions and going to the hospital. Being 28 weeks pregnant, I assumed it was Braxton Hicks. Not long after that text, less than hour, our agency called. I assumed they were just telling me the same news. Instead they were telling me they were going to send over the records from the birth mom's last two appointments, but also that there was a note on the records about there being a pregnancy complication related to the baby being at high risk for a lifelong disability/disabilities. The agency said to hold tight until she could get back to the doctor and go under more testing.

Less than hour after that called, the birth mom's mom called me and said they couldn't stop contractions and she was dilated 7cm. Baby was coming…