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Gone

Well guys, 8 weeks we were matched this time. But now we are back to being a waiting family. I honestly don't know where to start with this one. The last few days have been a whirlwind.

On Tuesday (5 days ago) the birth mom texted that she was having contractions and going to the hospital. Being 28 weeks pregnant, I assumed it was Braxton Hicks. Not long after that text, less than hour, our agency called. I assumed they were just telling me the same news. Instead they were telling me they were going to send over the records from the birth mom's last two appointments, but also that there was a note on the records about there being a pregnancy complication related to the baby being at high risk for a lifelong disability/disabilities. The agency said to hold tight until she could get back to the doctor and go under more testing.

Less than hour after that called, the birth mom's mom called me and said they couldn't stop contractions and she was dilated 7cm. Baby was coming today at 28 weeks 5 days. I was trying to get in touch with our two contacts at the agency with no luck. And 30 minutes later, birth mom's mom called to say baby was here and sent me a picture! We were planning to start traveling to get our baby.

I finally got in touch with our agency, and they told us to stay put and not to travel until they could get a full medical report. This made sense with the concern of the disability, how early baby was born, and the drug exposure in utero. Unfortunately the social worker would not be able to go to the hospital until Wednesday. We spent that whole day on pins and needles, and finally late in the afternoon they said baby is showing the characteristics of the disability but they wanted to do some further testing to verify. My heart broke because we knew if baby did in fact have these disabilities, we are not equipped to take them on. I was texting birth mom and her mom trying to get information, but there's was conflicting. On Thursday morning the birth mom texted and said she found a different family that was on their way to the hospital now.

She didn't even give us the chance to get the full medical report before moving on to a new family who would take the baby regardless of the results. I understand her view, I do, but it was so hard to hear especially after we had formed such a great relationship over the last 8 weeks. She had skyped me in to one appointment to hear baby's heartbeat, she called me to tell me we were having a girl, she called and cried to me when she had personal issues, we texted daily getting to know each other, we stuck with her when it was revealed she was doing drugs we weren't previously made aware of, we were in this together. And then just like that, she was gone. Birth mom, baby, and our joy. Gone.

Comments

  1. Oh my gosh Ashley... I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. To come so close like that and then for her not even give you a chance. Sending you hugs.

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