As of tomorrow, we will be in month number 11 of trying to get pregnant. This has been such a frustrating time for me. I have always been able to work hard to achieve my goals, and this is something I have no control over. No matter how hard I work, it is not in my hands. We are on month two of Clomid plus Metformin - I have been given three months to try it. If after the third month we don't get pregnant, I will have to go to a specialist & probably begin shots. I am really struggling with knowing how far to take the treatments. I feel as though I could go through all the treatments in the world, and if God doesn't want it to happen, it won't. It is all in His hands & on His time. I also struggle because there are so many children in the world who need to be adopted by loving parents - maybe that is the plan God has in mind for us. But, since we have no way of knowing, I suppose I will continue on until I feel I no longer want to put my body through treatments. I pray that the decision I make will be the right ones. As Cinderella's fairy godmother said, "Even miracles take a little time."
On Saturday, February 25th I started having terrible pains in my hips & lower abdomen, but I just chalked it up to growing pains and went on to work. We were having an autograph signing at one of our stores, so it was a busy day. As the day went on, the pain only got worse, almost crippling. I asked to leave work and called my husband. Upon hearing how much pain I was in, he immediately left work and called my parents. I stopped at my parents house because they only live 2 minutes from the store I was working at. My parents weren't there at the time, but they came home to check on me. My dad immediately called 911, just as I had a gush of blood. I knew something wasn't right, this was different from any bleeding I had ever experienced with the subchorionic. I just knew I was losing my babies. Thankfully the fire station is only 5 blocks from my parents' house, so the ambulance arrived quickly. They immediately loaded me up an took me to the hospital. The hospital hook...
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