Sunday, September 25, 2011

Hopes, Dreams, Prayers

It has been quite some time since I have updated this. Wow, so much has happened since my last post.
We are still trying for a baby . . . after three attempts with clomid and 0 results, we were referred to a fertility specialist in April. After testing, we were told our only hope of becoming parents would be doing in vitro fertilization (IVF) with ICSI. This came as quite the shock - not quite what I was expecting. Not to mention, it comes with the nice price tag of $15,000.
I felt as though my childhood dream of becoming a mom had been taken away from me in a 15 minute consultation. Yet I didn't cry until I got back to work after the appointment . . . when I started telling my co-workers, who are also some of my closest friends. Yes, I went back to work because I knew if I went home I would lose it.
The doctor told us there was 4-5 month waiting list to do IVF, so if we wanted to do it this year we would need to make a decision soon. Luckily, my parents offered to pay for most of the procedure. Once that weight was lifted it only made sense to proceed. So I called and made the appointment for week of retrieval to be September 19, meaning I would start medications in July/August. We hit some bumps along the way with the staff at the doctor's office who had us second guessing our decision. As it turns out, my cycle started to early to be on schedule anyway, so it would have to be pushed back.
Because I was not 100% confident we were at the right doctor for us, I made an appointment with a doctor in Atlanta. He came highly recommended, and I felt like this would be the place for us. But nothing can be perfect.  I got a call from  the Atlanta doctor at the first of September,  a few weeks prior to our consulation, to go over insurance coverage. I knew going in that my insurance covers no fertility charges, however, was not prepared that because this doctor was out of network all testing would also be out of pocket. This would add between $5,000 and $10,000 to the cost of the IVF. Not to mention travel expenses. There was no way we could afford this! I had never been so confused at this point  . . what do we need to do?! I prayed about it and told God I need a sign to fall in front of my face and tell me which direction to take.
That afternoon my prayers were answered. My original doctor in Memphis called to see if we still wanted to proceed, which gave me a chance to tell them my disappointments in the service I had received in the months prior. I even told them I had an appointment elsewhere to explore my options. The nurse responded quite well to this and went over all of my questions and concerns. I finally felt like I had someone there who would give me the understanding I needed. We went over a new schedule and determined that the new retrieval week would be October 24 . . . only to find out there were no availabilities. The next opening was December 5. We booked for that week so that we would have a for sure appointment, but also call if anyone cancelled for 10/24. Not even 15 minutes later she called . . . someone had cancelled for the week I needed. To me, this was the answer to my prayers. I needed to be in Memphis, not Atlanta.
Since that call we have been moving forward with the protocol.
We are only a month out from our week of retrieval . . . so close it is hard to believe.
I pray the IVF will work and our prayers will be answered that our hopes and dreams of becoming parents will be fulfilled.

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