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Next Steps

We had our appointment with the new doctor in Atlanta on Friday. I really liked the doctor and his staff. They were so friendly and full of personality. I was so excited as we sat in the waiting room. But once we left, I was as confused as ever.

In short, he told me there would be no reason to do a FET with him because his protocol varies only slightly from our current doctor. Exact same meds, only difference is the timing of them. He said all things considered with a single transfer we are looking at about a 33% chance of getting pregnant from a FET. He thinks he could be done using the 3 frozen embryos we have, but that I should be prepared for a difficult pregnancy given my history.

I asked him about using a carrier, but he didn't seem to think that was a good idea based on cost, psychological effects, etc. Didn't offer an opinion on adoption. But, I feel like by telling me to prepare for a difficult pregnancy he was cautioning me against getting pregnant.

So now, the adoption research gets serious. So far I have only talked to one agency and one licensed person for a home study. I am going to continue to research adoption agencies, if anyone reading this has any suggestions I would love to hear them.

Comments

  1. I know there are probably a million things going on through your heads... I just want to say that I have so much love for you, you are an amazing friend to me even though we've never actually spent any time together in person... constantly in prayer for you guys. I know you are going to be amazing parents to little angels here on earth, on way or another. <3

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  2. Hi. I hope you don't mind me replying to your post. I follow some IP blogs and clicked over from one of them. So sorry to hear that you had such a confusing and disappointing time at your doctor's visit. I, obviously, don't know your whole story or your circumstances. But I thought that I would take the chance and reply because you mentioned in the last line that you were looking for suggestions and different ideas. I was wondering if you considered international surrogacy. A lot of people are having success with surrogacy in places like India. While international surrogacy has its own set of issues and complications, it is also a lot more affordable, and can be a lot more accessible. It may or may not be the right road for you. Only you and your family can determine that. But I just thought that I would put the idea out there, in case it is not something you have considered before.

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  3. You know, I'm sure this was a little disappointing to hear, but I'm glad this doctor was honest with you rather than seeing you as money in the bank for their clinic. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  4. Sorry to hear that things aren't going as well as you had hoped they would. I know we all want to see you both bring a baby home. I agree with the above commentor though, that it is good that the dr. was being honest about you having a difficult pregnancy if you went that route again.

    If you have ever read my blog you know that we know have a gestational carrier. I know the dr. said you probably didn't need to go that route, but in my opinion it is a good route and is what worked for us right now. It is quite spendy, but I have learned a lot about it and know lots of ways that can make it cheaper than when I first started looking into it. Plus, you already have 3 embryos, that if they are good and survived the thaw, could be used with a carrier. That part alone, the IVF, makes up a good chunk of the cost of getting a carrier that you can skip and probably start the process sooner, that is if you can find someone to carry for you. For me I wanted my own biological baby. I am not against adopting, and we may go that route in the future but I know that adopting can be costly as well, plus I was concerned about waiting for that baby to come home and then have the mother change her mind. It happened to a friend of mine after they had the baby home. I felt I couldn't handle that, it would be like another loss. Although the carrier route is scary as well because, like adoption, you are putting your babies life in someone else's hands. If you have any questions about the process I would definitely talk to you about it because like I said, I have learned a lot about it.

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