Lately I have been feeling as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders. For starters, now that Marty doesn't have a job, we are solely relying on my income. He was making almost double what I make, so it is quite a big loss. It has been two weeks now with no leads. He has applied for a lot of jobs, but hasn't heard back on any of them. On top of that, my parents have been needing more and more at their house. Doing little things like heating their dinner, changing lightbulbs, doing laundry. Nothing too taxing, but after working a full time I help them then do all the same at our house. And because of all of this, we have to put any baby plans on hold. For the past 3.5 years I have been doing something to try to become a mom. Now it has all come to a halt.
My parents are also looking to move soon, and they are looking at houses large enough we could move in with them. This would help a lot, as I am increasingly helping them out at their current home already. But this makes me feel bad for Marty. Here we are younger than 30 looking at moving in with my parents to help take care of them. Not the life he imagined I am sure. He has been nothing but supportive of the idea, but I do know it isn't the dream situation.
All of these things led to a mini meltdown on Sunday. I was tired emotionally, physically, & mentally. But one thing I know for sure is we are strong as a couple, and I have no doubt that each of these curve balls life is throwing at us is only deepening our bond. And in the long run, they will reveal a piece of God's plan for us. I am trying to view the loss of Marty's job as a blessing, a chance to move to a company and position where he will be happy. Moving in with my parents (if it happens) will allow us more time to spend with them and help us save for our next steps to bringing home a baby.