I was talking to a friend the other day, and she mentioned she saw something on Pinterest that reminded her of me. She couldn't remember exactly what it said, but it was something to the effect of sometimes God takes away things he has given you because they aren't part of the perfect plan He has. I told her I had thought about that with the girls. What if something more serious would have been wrong with them down the road, and losing them during pregnancy is His mercy on me - protecting from an even greater pain. I have no idea if that is the purpose behind our loss, but it has crossed my mind. She asked if it helps me to think of it that way. I told her that the biggest thing that has helped me along in the past year was a thought I had months ago.
We were sitting in church one Sunday, and they were talking about the crucifixion. The preacher mentioned how Jesus asked John to take care of his mother as he was dying on the cross. In that moment, something just clicked in my brain. God gave US His son so that we could have the promise of Heaven. Jesus's mother had to watch him be crucified on the cross. How could I be so selfish as to question God why he took my baby girls when he gave us His son for something so great? It took a lot to keep my composure in church that day. But that was a huge turning point for me. I am so thankful for God's love and His mercies.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16