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My First Mother's Day

I'm not sure I really have the words to describe my first Mother's Day. It wasn't as dark as I thought it may be. I woke up to some sweet "thinking of you" text messages and facebook messages. No one else really acknowledged the fact that it was a Mother's Day for me too. Marty's mom and dad came to our church with us. We went to my parents to celebrate with my mom. We went to the cemetery to see the girls. We went to Target. We went to dinner with his parents. We drove around looking at houses. In other words, Marty kept me busy enough for the girls to not be my only thoughts.
The saddest part of the day for me was the cemetery. But, not sad for me. It was so crowded, like never before. And, I was sad for all of the people who were there visiting their moms. Of course I did cry for my girls' while I was there, but it still felt surreal that I was at a cemetery on my first Mother's Day visiting my daughters. So instead of trying to really absorb it and make it feel more real, I watched everyone who was there visiting their moms. There were a few people who work at the funeral home walking around talking to the families and handing out flowers. The sweet man who helped plan Gentry & Savannah's service was the one who came up to us. He gave me a pink carnation and told me happy mother's day and asked if I was really doing as well as I appeared to be. I told him I think I am. While I still have a lot of sadness, I do think I am ok. I am still grieving, but I am moving forward. And in this situation, I think that's the best you can do.
Me and my girls

Marty and me at church

Marty and the girls. We took this "Believe Memphis" flag out to their grave for the Memphis Grizzlies run in the playoffs. They lost in game 7 yesterday =(

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  1. JenniferMay 20, 2012 at 7:35 PM

    Beautiful pictures. thank you for sharing about your first Mother's Day. I think you're doing all the right things -- knowing grief is different for everyone, it has its own timeline, that you can be happy and sad at the same time. The best thing I have learned about grief is that the best thing is to just roll with it as best you can. When you feel it, feel it. When you want to cry, cry. When you feel like laughing, laugh. Do what feels right.

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