Mother's Day is getting closer, a day I am dreading. They have been hard the last few years when it was just a longing to have a baby. But now, here I am with two daughters I will never know on Earth. It isn't quite how I imagined my first Mother's Day. While I should still be pregnant with my sweet girls, I will instead be visiting them at their grave. It just doesn't seem right, but in all of this, I am trying to choose to be thankful. I am thankful for a wonderful husband who has been my rock. I am thankful for God and His love that gives me strength. I am thankful that my baby girls never knew pain or suffering. I am thankful my mom is still here to celebrate her on Mother's Day (thankful for my dad too). I am thankful for the 5 months I had with my girls and that I was able to feel them moving so early. I am thankful for a friend that will listen at anytime, no matter if it is rational or not. I am thankful I work for a company that has been so understanding with IVF and the loss of the girls. I have much to be thankful for, and on my toughest days I try to remember this. Gentry and Savannah, mommy loves you. Thank you for being my angels.
On Saturday, February 25th I started having terrible pains in my hips & lower abdomen, but I just chalked it up to growing pains and went on to work. We were having an autograph signing at one of our stores, so it was a busy day. As the day went on, the pain only got worse, almost crippling. I asked to leave work and called my husband. Upon hearing how much pain I was in, he immediately left work and called my parents. I stopped at my parents house because they only live 2 minutes from the store I was working at. My parents weren't there at the time, but they came home to check on me. My dad immediately called 911, just as I had a gush of blood. I knew something wasn't right, this was different from any bleeding I had ever experienced with the subchorionic. I just knew I was losing my babies. Thankfully the fire station is only 5 blocks from my parents' house, so the ambulance arrived quickly. They immediately loaded me up an took me to the hospital. The hospital hook...
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