Mother's Day is getting closer, a day I am dreading. They have been hard the last few years when it was just a longing to have a baby. But now, here I am with two daughters I will never know on Earth. It isn't quite how I imagined my first Mother's Day. While I should still be pregnant with my sweet girls, I will instead be visiting them at their grave. It just doesn't seem right, but in all of this, I am trying to choose to be thankful. I am thankful for a wonderful husband who has been my rock. I am thankful for God and His love that gives me strength. I am thankful that my baby girls never knew pain or suffering. I am thankful my mom is still here to celebrate her on Mother's Day (thankful for my dad too). I am thankful for the 5 months I had with my girls and that I was able to feel them moving so early. I am thankful for a friend that will listen at anytime, no matter if it is rational or not. I am thankful I work for a company that has been so understanding with IVF and the loss of the girls. I have much to be thankful for, and on my toughest days I try to remember this. Gentry and Savannah, mommy loves you. Thank you for being my angels.
Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in. That day, November 14, I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day. I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need t
Comments
Post a Comment