I swear, IVF is like a drug I have an addiction to. I suppose because it is the thing that can get me closest to having another baby, whether it's me or a gestational carrier. I really am enjoying not having to plan my life around injections and the possibility of bed rest. But at the same time, I have a lot of days where I want to call my doctor and set up a cycle right away. Maybe it's an emotional high from the hope an IVF cycle gives me. I haven't gone in to either cycle feeling like it wouldn't work. Both times I was just sure I would get a baby. The odds were in our favor. Now, I would probably go in less optimistic, but optimistic none the less. And it is during those cycles I feel happiest, being closer to achieving my dream.
Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in. That day, November 14, I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day. I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need t
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