Turns out the home pregnancy test was right, I'm not pregnant. Our IVF cycle failed. I can't even describe everything I am feeling right now. I am heartbroken, confused, angry, sad . . . I'm not sure why God keeps denying me the opportunity to have a child to hold & love. I hate my body for failing Gentry & Savannah and not being able to get pregnant naturally. I can't quit crying. It's not fair. I am surrounded by pregnant people expecting their second & third children. I just want ONE, why does it have to be so hard?! I will never have these answers, but I can't quit asking the questions.
On Saturday, February 25th I started having terrible pains in my hips & lower abdomen, but I just chalked it up to growing pains and went on to work. We were having an autograph signing at one of our stores, so it was a busy day. As the day went on, the pain only got worse, almost crippling. I asked to leave work and called my husband. Upon hearing how much pain I was in, he immediately left work and called my parents. I stopped at my parents house because they only live 2 minutes from the store I was working at. My parents weren't there at the time, but they came home to check on me. My dad immediately called 911, just as I had a gush of blood. I knew something wasn't right, this was different from any bleeding I had ever experienced with the subchorionic. I just knew I was losing my babies. Thankfully the fire station is only 5 blocks from my parents' house, so the ambulance arrived quickly. They immediately loaded me up an took me to the hospital. The hospital hook...
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