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4 Months & Hopeful

Today is 4 months since the girls were born. I think today has been the easiest of their monthly birthdays for me because I am feeling hopeful for the first time. Even if I'm not pregnant after this transfer, I just feel hopeful for mine and Marty's future. And, I know that no matter our journey, we will never forget our first baby girls. Gentry & Savannah, we love you so much!!
The waiting period after an embryo transfer is enough to drive you crazy though, no matter how much hope you have. I'm sure it doesn't help that for the past 5 days I was at home not doing anything. When I have baby on the brain, that's all I want to think about. But, not matter the outcome I know we will be ok. Both of us have the same thought that a negative pregnancy test is definitely not worse than what we have already been through. Of course both of us want me to be pregnant, but I think we have a very calm, realistic view this time around. I am debating taking a home pregnancy test the day before my blood test. I didn't last time, but I am more tempted to this time. Maybe because I'm not as naive this time? So I want to know ahead of time if it's negative, so I'm not finding out at work. I don't know what it is, but I still haven't decided. Good thing I have a box at home just in case.
Last time I came back to work after my IVF cycle drawings on my calendar, today I came back to sticky note artwork that is a pregnant lady and says "Georgia on my Mind". That couldn't bet truer. Although, Marty has convinced me that if I am pregnant this time it will be a boy. You would think we were team boy if you saw us the day of the transfer. We both were blue shirts, totally not planned. Here's to waiting on the pregnancy test . . . . .


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