Skip to main content

4 Months & Hopeful

Today is 4 months since the girls were born. I think today has been the easiest of their monthly birthdays for me because I am feeling hopeful for the first time. Even if I'm not pregnant after this transfer, I just feel hopeful for mine and Marty's future. And, I know that no matter our journey, we will never forget our first baby girls. Gentry & Savannah, we love you so much!!
The waiting period after an embryo transfer is enough to drive you crazy though, no matter how much hope you have. I'm sure it doesn't help that for the past 5 days I was at home not doing anything. When I have baby on the brain, that's all I want to think about. But, not matter the outcome I know we will be ok. Both of us have the same thought that a negative pregnancy test is definitely not worse than what we have already been through. Of course both of us want me to be pregnant, but I think we have a very calm, realistic view this time around. I am debating taking a home pregnancy test the day before my blood test. I didn't last time, but I am more tempted to this time. Maybe because I'm not as naive this time? So I want to know ahead of time if it's negative, so I'm not finding out at work. I don't know what it is, but I still haven't decided. Good thing I have a box at home just in case.
Last time I came back to work after my IVF cycle drawings on my calendar, today I came back to sticky note artwork that is a pregnant lady and says "Georgia on my Mind". That couldn't bet truer. Although, Marty has convinced me that if I am pregnant this time it will be a boy. You would think we were team boy if you saw us the day of the transfer. We both were blue shirts, totally not planned. Here's to waiting on the pregnancy test . . . . .

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gone

Well guys, 8 weeks we were matched this time. But now we are back to being a waiting family. I honestly don't know where to start with this one. The last few days have been a whirlwind. On Tuesday (5 days ago) the birth mom texted that she was having contractions and going to the hospital. Being 28 weeks pregnant, I assumed it was Braxton Hicks. Not long after that text, less than hour, our agency called. I assumed they were just telling me the same news. Instead they were telling me they were going to send over the records from the birth mom's last two appointments, but also that there was a note on the records about there being a pregnancy complication related to the baby being at high risk for a lifelong disability/disabilities. The agency said to hold tight until she could get back to the doctor and go under more testing. Less than hour after that called, the birth mom's mom called me and said they couldn't stop contractions and she was dilated 7cm. Baby was com...
4 comments
Read more

Baby Sully

Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in. That day, November 14,  I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day. I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need t...
3 comments
Read more

Due Date Anniversary

Yesterday is the day I was due with Gentry and Savannah last year, July 18. I don't think I will forever get that date. Yesterday wasn't too bad, but this week has been tough. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard. Of course it doesn't help that there a lot of triggers surrounding me. Earlier this week I was walking through the office where two co-workers and an employee from another site were talking. The other employee, C, is expecting twin girls. The babies' dad isn't really in the picture, and C herself jokes about having someone else takes the babies and she'll visit on weekends. I know that she is only joking, but hearing that is like a punch to the gut. So anyway, I was walking down the hall this week I heard her mentioning that she needs to work on the girls' nursery. I ducked my head & walked to my office where I lost it. I mean sitting there sobbing lost it. That hasn't happened at work in a LONG time. Thank goodness I have my own off...
3 comments
Read more