Chasing My Rainbow

The first time I heard The Band Perry's song "If I Die Young" after I had the girls there was one part that hit me hard:
"Lord make me a rainbow
I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you
When she stands under my colors
Oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be
No ain't even gray
But she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life"

Whenever I see a rainbow, which is not often, it makes me think of this song and Savannah & Gentry. It has rained here just about every day for the last week, and I have been looking for a rainbow ever since. People have been posting photos to facebook of the rainbows they have seen. Each time I see a new photo I race outside hoping to catch a glimpse of the rainbow. Even Marty saw one on his way home today. I have yet to see one.

Not only am I out looking for a real rainbow, I am still holding out hope for my rainbow baby. For those not familiar, a rainbow baby is a baby born after the loss of a baby. I am pretty sure we are going to do the next FET in October. At this point I can't quit chasing my rainbow.

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Baby Sully

Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in. That day, November 14, I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day. I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need t

Finalization Day

Finalization day was so special for us, so we invited along one of my dearest friends who is also a photographer to capture the day. This friend has been there for us every step of the way, not only as a friend but also capturing our special moments. When the judge announced that he granted the adoption and name change to be officially Benton, I about lost it. That is until Benton let out the cutest squeal of excitement. I think he was excited it was official as well! These pictures were too cute not to share. So, here are a few from finalization day!

Gone

Well guys, 8 weeks we were matched this time. But now we are back to being a waiting family. I honestly don't know where to start with this one. The last few days have been a whirlwind. On Tuesday (5 days ago) the birth mom texted that she was having contractions and going to the hospital. Being 28 weeks pregnant, I assumed it was Braxton Hicks. Not long after that text, less than hour, our agency called. I assumed they were just telling me the same news. Instead they were telling me they were going to send over the records from the birth mom's last two appointments, but also that there was a note on the records about there being a pregnancy complication related to the baby being at high risk for a lifelong disability/disabilities. The agency said to hold tight until she could get back to the doctor and go under more testing. Less than hour after that called, the birth mom's mom called me and said they couldn't stop contractions and she was dilated 7cm. Baby was com

Down That Forever Road

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