Yesterday my best friend found out her second baby is a girl. To make the announcement, she photographed her 4 year old daughter releasing pink balloons from a box. The moment I saw the picture I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My next feeling was that I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I just felt so down the rest of the night. And yet, I couldn't quit looking at her facebook and reading everyone's congratulatory comments. Apparently I like to punish myself.
Despite all of these feelings, I am still happy for her. It just hurts because we were three days away from finding out the sex of our babies when I went in to labor. I was looking forward to that day and couldn't wait to go shopping for their nursery. And now I am left wondering if I will ever get to experience the excitement that day brings.
About 3 hours after her announcement text & facebook post, I was checking my email and had an email from this friend with the subject "more pictures". I was thinking she had sent some of the outtakes or just some of her daughter. But, no. I opened it to see photos of her daughter releasing a pink balloon with a note that said "in memory of s & g". They had released a balloon in memory of the girls. How sweet is that? In the middle of all of her excitement, she thought about me. I am so lucky to have her as a friend.