Thursday, July 12, 2012

Decision Making

Can I just say that I am the WORST decision maker of all time? Even after I make a decision I will second guess myself until whatever the decision was about has passed. This even occurs with lunch. =) But, right now Marty and I are trying to make a much bigger decision that what to eat for lunch. We are trying to decide whether to do another FET in the fall or if we want to wait a little longer, or even if we should use a gestational carrier.
My doctor called the Monday after we found out our first FET failed. He seemed so perplexed as to why it didn't work. By all scientific standards everything was great - all of the medications had done their jobs to get my body ready and our embryo was grade A. He said he was just a frustrated as I was, so he is offering us a discount when we decide to try again. Our consolation prize, I guess.
Part of me wants to do it again as soon as we can. How nice would it be to go through the holidays pregnant, just as I did last year. I think it would ease the pain of not having my baby girls here for their first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. But if it didn't work, I can't imagine the pain of going through those holidays without my girls AND two failed FET attempts.
It is such an emotional roller coaster, and I can't ride it forever. So, I don't know if I should get off the ride for awhile to undizzy myself, or if I should stay on for a little longer.

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