I have been fully anticipating July 18 to be a very hard date, my due date with Gentry & Savannah. But, I wasn't anticipating the entire month of July to be so hard. I have cried every single, I know it's only the 4th, but I haven't done this in awhile. Everything is making me cry - songs on the radio, commercials on tv, seeing babies, seeing pregnant women, facebook pregnancy announcements, going in the room that would have been the girls'. I feel so broken.
Fifteen days after my last blog post, you know the one 10 months ago, we were supposed to have a call with our adoption agency to hit pause and take a break. After 3 failed matches we needed time to heal before jumping back in. That day, November 14, I was at work when our social worker's number popped up on my phone. I was in the middle of a work project so thought I would just call her back later. I was putting off having the call to go inactive as long as possible. Because as much as we needed to heal, my heart also broke at the thought of missing out on the baby that was meant to be ours. Less than 10 minutes later the agency number popped up, so I decided to answer and let them know we could chat later in the day. I was not expecting the words on the other end of the phone. "Ashley, we have a healthy baby boy who was born two days ago. He is ready to be discharged from the hospital, and his birth mom has chosen you to be his parents. If you want to proceed you need t
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